So you want to be reconciled to that person you’re in conflict with? Great! In preparation for your upcoming reconciliation meeting please think through, pray over, and respond to each of the following questions:
- Goal – What are my goals for this meeting? What am I trying to achieve by meeting with this person or people? What’s my purpose? What do I hope to walk away with? Are there any Bible passages that are helping you process this in a gospel-centered way?
- Confess – What sins can I admit? What sins can I take ownership for and ask for forgiveness for? (Mt. 7:1-5) How might my heart have deceived me? (Jer. 17:9) How might the evil one have blinded me to my own mistakes, deceived us, or confused the situation? (Eph. 6:12) How might I have offended or wronged them? (Mt. 5:23-24)
- Explain – What issues do I need to address? What sins or mistakes do I need to speak to? How has this other person hurt me? How can I speak truth in love? (Eph. 5:15) What do I need to say so that it won’t turn into bitterness in me? (Eph. 4:26-27) This is your opportunity to say what you need to say, but do so gently and with love (Col. 3:12).
- Forgive – Am I prepared to forgive? How can I not hold a grudge? Am I prepared to not hold this wrong against them? (Mt. 6:14-15; 1 Cor. 13:5) Has this happened before? If so am I still prepared to forgive and also set clear boundaries? (Lk. 17:3-4) How can I forgive them like Christ has forgiven me? (Eph. 4:32)
- Encourage – How can I affirm them? What positive words of encouragement can I share about the other person’s identity or the job they are doing? Can I affirm their gifting and calling? Make sure to end your conversation by saying something positive and encouraging to the one you just had a hard conversation with (Phil. 4:8).
Please spend time in prayer for your coming reconciliation meeting (2 Cor. 5:16-21).